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loves mine so much.
Oh, Tammy, damn, I had no idea. Suzanne swallowed the lump that had suddenly risen in her
throat. God, to not be able to have children? That was something she couldn t comprehend. It put a
whole new spin on her dilemma. I m so sorry.
We ve talked about adoption, she whispered, but then waved her hand. But we re not talking
about me. We re talking about you. Get your butt in the bathroom.
I was afraid you were going to say that. Suzanne threw the blanket off of her and sighed. Fine.
Let s get this over with.
How will you feel if it s positive? Imogen asked.
I m not sure, she admitted. I mean, I ve always wanted a baby, desperately. But this is far from
ideal circumstances. I m broke and I just applied to law school.
You applied to law school? Tammy asked, her face squinching up. Since when?
Since Vegas. I always wanted to go to law school, you know, but I was afraid to take the leap, to
get the loans and just do it. And after all this wedding business with Nikki, I just realized it s now or
never. I can try to do something I ve always wanted to, something that makes a difference in the
world, or I can just resign myself to a job I don t really care for. So I figured I would apply and see
what happens.
She had needed to do it. It was time to grab the steering wheel and drive her own life instead of
just being along for the ride.
I didn t know you wanted to be a lawyer, Imogen said. That s an excellent choice for you.
I didn t know you wanted to be a lawyer either and I ve known you for six years. I swear,
Suzanne, sometimes you re such a guy.
What does that mean? I don t spit and I don t have any balls to scratch and I ve never claimed
romance is an ice-cold beer and a swat on the ass. She wasn t a guy, and she was kind of offended
by the comparison.
Tammy laughed. What I mean is that you do what men do in that you think things through quietly, in
your head, and then just announce the conclusion. Most women don t do that. Most women fret and
worry and talk it through from all angles over and over with their girlfriends and their partner and
finally, sometimes, come to a conclusion. Men work it all through in their head, and you don t even
know they re thinking about anything so when they announce it, everyone s left scratching their heads
and wondering where that came from. You do the exact same thing.
Her first reaction was to deny it, but as she thought about it, Suzanne realized there was a measure
of truth to it. So? It just means I m not bugging anyone with my stupid shit.
But you don t let anyone in, honey, to offer advice or to support you, Tammy said in a soft voice.
We can be here for you more if you d let us. And Ryder would understand you better if you shared
with him once in a while.
Disturbed by the tone of the conversation, Suzanne stood up and went for her purse on the end
table. There s been plenty of sharing between Ryder and I lately. We don t need any more sharing or
I ll wind up having triplets. She yanked the pregnancy test out of the bottom of her purse where she
had wedged it.
While she sat on the toilet seat in Tammy s powder room waiting for the test to do its thing, she
pondered what her friend had said. Since when had working through problems and feelings on your
own become a flaw? She had always thought of it as a strength, not a weakness. But maybe there was
something to Tammy s point that coming to a conclusion on your own blindsided people.
The truth was, she didn t know what she was doing when it came to relationships. She never had.
Her grandparents had been great people and had loved her, but there had always been a part of
Suzanne that had resented being abandoned by her mother. So she had kept her emotions in check and
hidden in private.
It was easy for her to say whatever she was thinking, unless it was an emotion. That might make her
vulnerable, and she wasn t having any of that.
Suzanne glanced at the pregnancy test resting on the vanity, figuring it wouldn t be ready yet.
But it was.
Pregnant.
Her stomach did a flip.
It looked like she was going to have to accept vulnerable and learn to live with emotional, because
she was having a baby.
Ryder s baby.
Again.
What s going on in there? Tammy pounded on the door.
Forcing herself to stand up on shaky legs, Suzanne swung the door open. I m pregnant and I think
I m going to faint. The whole room was starting to spin and she was seeing spots. That wasn t good.
Oh, Lord! Tammy reached out and grabbed her arm.
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